A man transformed

Malam Demi Palestin, TV Al-Hijrah, 23 Dec 2012, 9.00 malam.

MATA KECILKU
Nukilan : Ammu Afdlin Shauki aka Abu Miasara

Kau buat mataku kecil
Kau buat badanku besar
Kau sayangkan aku

Kau buatku serba kekurangan
Supaya aku berusaha mencari kejayaan
Kemudian kau limpahkan dgn kesenangan
Kau sayangkan aku

Aku leka dengan hidup dunia
Tiada syukur tersemat didada
Hari hari bergelumang dosa
perhubungan kita tidak ku jaga
seperti seorang anak tak mengenang jasa
Kau sayangkan aku

Aku yg sudah hanyut jiwaku
Rasa tak layak lagi bersamaMu
Sangkaku tertutup sudah pintu kemaafanMu
kerana ke-alpaan diriku
Kerana kebodohan diriku
kerana keangkuhan diriku
Kerana ku butakan mata kecilku
"Masihkah Kau sayangkan Aku?"

f16 Israel membedil Gaza
Kau sayangkan aku

Bom Bom Israel mencari Syuhada
Kesengsaraan di tanah Gaza
Kehancuran merata- rata
Kezaliman yg tak terkata
Kau sayangkan aku

Kemanusiaan membawaku ke sana
Kau permudahkan segala cara
Walaupun debar menggoncang dada
Kau beri ku kekuatan minda
Selamat perjalananku ke Gaza
Agar akhirnya dapat ku guna
Mata yang lama tak bercahaya
Kerana hanya mengejar dunia
Kau Sayangkan aku

Mataku melihat, runtun hatiku
bukan kerana kematian dan kesusahan di situ
Gaza tanah barakahMU
walaupun semuanya kelabu
Dipenuhi oleh kekasih-kekasihMU
Yang tidak pernah menyoal cintaMU
Yang tak pernah menyalahkanMU
Walaupun apa saja kesusahan yang kau beri
Kesyukuran tak pernah meninggalkan hati
Semua kekasih kekasihMU itu merindui
BersamaMU di Jannah nanti

Air mata berlinangan dari mata kecilku
Melihat Ketenangan wajah kekasihMU
Melihat Keberanian jiwa kekasihMU
Melihat keredhaan hati kekasihMU
Melihat ketaqwaan hidup kekasihMU

Senyum kekasihMU penuh cahaya
Senyun terukir walaupun duka
Senyum di beri tak memilih siapa
Senyum penuh kesyukuran padaNYA

AKu terduduk, terdiam melihatnya
Mata aku berkelip tidak percaya,
tidak pernah aku melihat sepertinya
Adakah aku dibumi nyata
ataupun menghampiri ahli-ahli syurga

Palestin bergolak atas keizinanMu
Kau mahu Palestin menjadi guru
Pelajaran bagi semua umat Muhammad SAW MU
Menyuluh jalan pulang padaMU

Aku meminta pengampunan dariMu Ya Allah
Kerana setelah semua yg aku laku
kau masih sudi membuka mataku
kau masih sudi mahu bersama ku
Kau masih sudi sayangkan aku
Kau sayangkan aku

Aku bersyukur dan merasa rendah
kerana diriku yang masih kau endah
Akan ku balas cintamu dengan seluruh jiwaku
dengan badan besarku
dengan seniku, dengan jenakaku, dengan akalku
dengan mata kecilku yang kini melihat kebesaran Mu
kekuatan Mu, KebijaksanaanMu, PengampunanMU
Cinta Mu yang memang tidak ada seteru.
Semua yang ku lakukan kini kerana Mu ya Allah InsyaAllah

UntukMu inginku menjadi Qalam
Akan aku ceritakan kebesaranmu kepada sekian Alam
Akan ku sampaikan kasih mu yg sangat mendalam
Ya aku, Budak gemuk yg 120kg ni...sebenarnya ISLAM.

Lemony Slice-and-bakes

A big thanks to my friend Sally North who posted the picture on Facebook which prompted me to ask for the recipe. Makes about 50

To keep the rolled dough's cylindirical shape, chill it or freeze it inside empty cardboard paper towel tube.

Dough:
2.1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
2 tbsp finely grated lemon zest
1 tbsp vanilla extract
4 large egg yolks

Icing:
1.1/4 cups powdered sugar
2 tbsps (or more) fresh lemon juice
Food colouring (optional)
Sanding sugar (optional)

Steps:
1. Whisk flour and salt in a bowl. Use electric mixer to beat butter, lemon zest and and vanilla in a bigger another bowl, occasional scraping down sides until light and fluffy. Add in yolks, beat just to blend. Reduce speed to low, add flour mixture in parts to blend. Part dough in half, and roll each half into 10 inch-long log and 1/3/4 inch in diameter. Chill until firm, about 1 hour. Can be made 2 days ahead, and keep chilled.

Using a sharp knife, cut dough into 1/4 inch-thick rounds. Line on baking sheet, spacing 1 inch apart. 350F, 16-18 mins. Cool on wire racks completely.

2. For icing; whisk sugar and lemon juice (and food colouring). Spread or drizzle icing on cookies as desired. Let sit for 10 minutes. Store in airtight container.

The prefect

In primary schools throughout Malaysia, a prefect is a title that many school children covet. Those chosen are supposed to be of "good character" and some build so to be entrusted with some power to help the school "control" other students. And by God's design, I was one.

This is the neck tie I wore when I was a prefect in Sekolah Rendah Jenis Kebangsaan (Bahasa Inggeris), Jalan Padang Tembak (2), Kuala Lumpur. I was "Ketua Murid Rendah" in 1974; "Ketua Murid" in 1975 and "Ketua Sekolah" in 1976. Those were exaggerated and inaccurate titles to be given to a child, don't you think? Wouldn't the headmaster/headmistress the rightful head of the school?

This picture above is the picture of the prefects with Puan Kamariah, the headmistress in 1975. #1 is Yusrina, the head pupil, and I (#2) was her deputy. When I was the head pupil in 1976, Rosmawarni (#3), was made deputy. I believe she succeeded me in 1977.

One of the chief responsibilities of the head pupil was to lead the National Anthem during assembly every Monday. The head pupil would stand on the intermediate landing of the staircase (marked with star) and as the music started to play, he/she would lift his/her hand much like an orchestra conductor. When I was in standard 5, I used to observe Yusrina carry out this task. By year 6, (putting up a brave front and pushing shyness aside) I just continued with the custom. Unbeknownst to me, that weekly performance brought pride to my uncle (Datuk Bulat's son who's one year younger than me). He would tell his friends, "that's my niece up there!"

Doll house and other memories of "13th May"

I will forever associate a doll house with the 13th May episode.

I was 5 at that time; I already had 2 younger sisters; 3 and 1 years old and a brother on the way. A few times when the men were called to assemble at Dato' Harun's house in Kampung Baru, the womenfolk and kids were sent to congregate in Makcik Lela's house, which sit right in the middle of our community off Jalan Jelatek. I don't recall much detail except that I loved it because we kids got to play with my friend, Icah's doll house and Lego set. That was a big deal then, because my friend's father worked for the Korean Embassy and we heard they got nice things from the embassy.

Because of the 13th May riot, food was scarce. I remember food was delivered to us in a van or lorry and I stood in line for sardine and bread (and maybe rice too). Thankfully, we planted pokok ubi around our house.

And there were the curfews. The government or the police imposed curfews at certain hours and we were not supposed to go out in the street. Anyone who violated this order would be punished by the FRU. During one of these curfews, my father decided to shift his family to his uncle's house in Jalan Keramat Dalam 3. It was not very far from Jalan Jelatek, but the mission was quite risky. We risked being caught by the FRU. It was getting dark that time (or it could have been early dawn), the five of us sneaked and snaked our way in between houses. When we were close to our destination, we caught sight of two uniformed guys standing and watching a man climb up and down a street light pole. We didn't stop to ponder; we full-heartedly scurried along. Later when we related the incident to our relatives, they told us that's how the police punish if one was caught outside their house during curfew.

My uncles (my father's cousins) had a radiogram (equivalent to karaoke set now) and they kept us entertained by taking turns at the microphone belting covers of A. Ramli and the likes. They must have turned down the volume, otherwise the FRU would have come over and gave us a stern warning.

To this day, I don't know how many days the 13th May incident lasted but I still can recall the stillness of the air and the smell of fear and uncertainty.

The following year, I enrolled in Kindergarten Capital.